Well, Things have been a bit of a whirlwind. I've spent nearly everyday with the cowboy since we met. I had felt that he was distant but he kept coming around and i'm like.. this is so weird. He knows i've been through a lot of depression and such lately, so he and i talked about it. He tells me "You're just not ready to be emotionally attached to someone. I don't want to sit here and get attached to you only to have you push me away... every time you have an emotional upset, it could potentially push me away and i will walk.. so here I am, i'm going to be here in this grey area while you get yourself to a better place emotionally. I want to see where this goes, You're just not ready for it, i'm willing to wait. WOW!! that was really powerful.. I don't know where this guy came from but it is one of those things that fucks me up. i'm black and white when it comes to relationships. I never learned how to function in a grey area, its all or nothing.. I needed a new approach to things in general. He is a sweet guy and just the fact that he is willing to wait, he wants to be around me, but he can't emotionally invest in me, because it could potentially ruin us both. I ruined things with LOD and HC because of emotional attachments and vulnerabilities. In fact, i've been vulnerable to most men, but i digress.. this one has a lot to offer.
I told him he was going into my blog and never really questioned it, but one night he just said "I am the question" it was an interesting thing because he has NO CLUE what this blog is called.. perhaps he is the question, it sure is something i'm willing to figure out.
In the mean time... we have a stalker. There is this girl that blatantly talks shit about me, she has never met me in person and has no reason to talk shit, other than my career and work might be better than hers.. in fact it is.. i'm not going to sugar coat it.. there is no doubt... Anyway, she has been talking to him for some time and he mentioned that he was talking to me and she was like "don't add her on facebook" then proceeded to talk shit about me. Well, he and I met later that day or the next day and he mentioned it to me.. since then he has pretty much ignored her and finally yesterday he told her that he met someone and that was that, how he wanted to see where it goes with me. Anyway, he never told her it was me, but today i tagged him in my status and she even liked it.. then her facebook wall says "don't you just love being lied to" yeah, it was just after my post.. ironic?? i think she might just have some mental instabilities of her own, we did tell one another that no matter what happens with her, we won't let it affect our relationship. I have a feeling this is going to be a bumpy ride.. oh and she unliked the post that i tagged him in.. this should be interesting..
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