Its been a while, I will be as brief as I can while I fill you in on the happenings of my life. HC and i haven't had communication since March. but prior to that, he contacted me superbowl sunday to let me know he was getting back with his ex (oh big surprise there right?!) and that we would not be able to communicate. Well a few weeks later i noticed he had been active on match.com, I texted him and asked him about it, he said it didn't work out (another big shocker right? yeah right). We did small chit chat and that was it, then one night while I was out with friends, he texted , Hey Gangster, how's it going? It was a brief conversation but it was nice. I tried to make plans with him to no avail. and then he stopped responding.
My life had a drastic change, which close friends who are reading this already know, but I decided to take a stab at NYC one more time. I'd been unemployed since the beginning of the year and without prospects, I decided to try and make it work in my career, rather than just some job I would have in order to live, i need livelihood, not existence. Prior to me leaving I sent the following email to HC:
Hey there my friend! i hope life has been treating you well. I haven't
heard back from you in texts in a while so i figured i'd write and say
its been good. Life has certainly been interesting in the last few
months. I really am happy that i got to spend a few days with you. You
are a wonderful person and i wish you the very best in this life, you
definitely deserve it!
I wish we could have hung out, been a
PIC(partner in crime) to one another in even a friendship form, but i understand where
you're at and how hard it can be. Please stay in touch, if you wish, i
would certainly love that. I will be leaving on May 4th to go to New
York to look for work. its been a bit rough trying to find work in the
area so leaving to explore my opportunities in the new york area. i am
hoping things work out but there is a chance i will be back.
anyway (omitted name) i hope life gives you what you ask for and
you continue being you, you have a good soul and it was a pleasure
knowing what i did of you.
Best in everything, always!
Gypsy Gangster
I never heard from him again. I have placed things out in the universe and things shall happen as they may.
Now that I am back in New York, I have scheduled an interview for Friday at 9:30am. I am really looking forward to it. All morning I have been updating my linked in profile, as well as applying for jobs and getting set up with staffing agencies, the problem with this is... New York holds a lot of history for me, so as i am looking at my contacts on LinkedIn (something i haven't signed into in about a year or more, I see him, yes HIM the connection, the one that throws me off every time, i hear something that reminds me of him (e.g. everything). What do i do? yeah, i contact him.. FUCK - does this happen to me.. yes. why? because my heart lives on my sleeve and it has a mind of its own. I invited him to lunch or dinner, LOD replied "what the hell are you talking about, last time i checked you lived like 9 hours from me" I just said that i was asking if he wanted to meet up and that I was living in the old neighborhood we stayed in when first moving here, he asked me how it was and mentioned he was pretty busy this week. I let him know im around all month. Nothing set in stone but at least he knows i'm here.
I keep reminding myself that I am here for me, i know that will not change but in the meantime, my heartstrings pull me backwards. I keep trudging along this path in life. My heart may always aide in my decision making, but this time i won't let it overcome me.
PS Tomorrow marks 3 years since I left NYC for Colorado, ironic how I come back almost to the day and how this day 3 years ago was me saying goodbye to LOD and today I said hello again... (aside from my birthday but we all know how that shitstorm turned out)
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