Friendship is Magic

I’m already driving south on the highway, I was a little outside of Colorado Springs but I wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity to meet up with him.  I wanted to see what this was all about, I didn’t like that we corresponded all of this over text message and I wanted to see him face to face.  I made my way north and finally got to his house.  I was so nervous going in, I wasn’t sure what I could expect with all of it.  I fumbled a little, I didn’t know how to break the ice so to speak.  I walked in and hugged him and again with that amazing smell, of course, the feeling was mutual, he mentioned that it was kinda hard because I smelled so good.  It was hard for both of us.  How do we go from where we were to where we are?  So I just opened up by showing him all I got for him.  I placed things on the small island in his kitchen and told him about what it was and why I got it.

We started to talk about what happened with the ex and he expressed that she just infiltrated him with pictures and she wanted to talk.  We didn’t go into too much detail but I know that he was upset and I can totally understand why he isn’t ready for a relationship.  He said he needed to be himself again, that he needed to find who he was again.  I have been there before.  I am the kind of person that gives my all and I don’t look back, I’ve lost myself before and sometimes I wonder if I’ve even found who I am.  I know I am a lover, I know I am a fighter, a feeler, a giver, a listener, a friend.  Fuck all the other bullshit in life.  I feel that life is what you remember, and most remember how they felt. Oh nostalgic Cancer.  I know exactly what I’m up against. 

I let him know girls are bitches.. frankly men are too sometimes but when you love someone, sometimes its hard to let that go and move forward, so you let your hurt and your heartache fill someone else so you can try to feel better.  That never works for anyone.. people still feel hurt and it doesn’t change or solve things.  I have been there.. New York made me realize a lot with all of that.  I still hurt but he (LOD) was in a different place, and I was going to project my feelings to him, he didn’t need that.  He needed to know that I loved him, as I always would and that I finally understood it was time to move forward otherwise I would still bring up the past and keep hurting both of us.

We talked a good bit of the night, played a couple of awesome games of pool and I got to know him more and more.  We are so open and honest with one another and it just felt so right.  How is it that everything can feel so right when it can’t be?  I told him I would be his friend, I meant that and I still do, we have so much in common that we even decided to be best friends.  The night came to a close and I had to go home.  I talked to him and let him know that if I was going to be his friend in all of this that I needed him to be my friend in all of this too.  If I were to cry, I too, would need him there for me to hold me and tell me it would be ok, even if he was the one that made me cry.  He and I agreed that friends it was.

  As we talked In his kitchen, I made a joke about knowing him all year and referenced Otis.   He pointed out a card on his fridge.  It read “Otis the Cactus, 1/2/2012”  he kept it and hung it where he’d see it every day.  It wasn’t so blatant in the front, but on the side, our moment in time.   He asked if I’d seen the other magnets on his fridge and I checked them out, one of them cracked me up because it said, "I noticed that you’re gangster, I’m pretty gangster myself".  That cracked my shit up because I feel kinda gangster in my fedora, It’s pimped out with a feather and all.  Why is he so amazing?  I have no clue but  I was leaving that night and I just started to cry as he hugged me goodbye.  Yeah.. I cried.. 2^nd meeting, 4 days in?  I don’t know why he brings it out in me, but he does, that raw behavior.. I told him I would need him to keep me in check because this was going to be difficult for me, that I would do my best.

 I left there that night feeling better than I had felt in the beginning of the day, maybe friendship was the answer.  I texted him and told him thank you for having me and I reiterated that I felt better than I had in the beginning.  He thanked me for coming over, thanked me for the gifts and called me his Gyspy Guardian Angel, I told him it was Gangster Gypsy and we said our goodnights and I continued my drive back to the 'Blo.